I haven’t blogged for a long time. There are two reasons.
One is that I am incredibly busy and never seem to get less busy. Every time I see the end goal a new goal pops up. That’s okay. I love my job. I am scared for what the next few weeks will bring but I am hopeful that soon I will be back in the classroom again doing what I love to do – teach. I am also busy at home with my children – it is coming to a busy time musically so we are on the road for rehearsals and all sorts. My own singing is taking a bit of time too – but I love it all so it’s a good kind of busy.
The other reason is more complex – I have fallen off the banting wagon and feel that as this is a blog about banting, I shouldn’t really write about it if I am not actually engaged in the process! I haven’t given up but I have stepped off the treadmill and not in a good way. Last weekend it started – I went home to my parents’ house and had some tart. It was lovely but didn’t quite hit the spot. So I have given in and just eaten anything I fancied. I have had bread, lots of sugar and have managed to put on just three pounds – I feel like I got out of jail free with that result because I really was quite mad some evenings, and it is frightening to think that I could eat so much junk and do so little perceptible damage. It has made me feel rotten however so there is more damage than just those three pounds done – it has made me feel tired and cross and lazy.
Now I have to get back on the wagon. It is not easy. Every morning this week I got up to start afresh, and every day I just went off track again. It is so easy to get back into bad habits.
Interestingly I have not re-embraced too many carbs – it was mostly sugar, but I didn’t engage with too many potatoes or pasta and only had bread twice. I ate twice a day and still drank a reasonable amount of water. I did however go back to drinking tea, and need to give that up again and need to up my water intake once more.
I headed to Butlers’ Chocolate Experience in Dublin with the children on Thursday and while it was a lovely day out I realised that the chocolate while lovely was actually too sweet for my newer tastebuds. It didn’t stop me eating it but I noticed that it didn’t set my world on fire.
In an effort to work out why I am not on track I tried to figure it out. I think I am just being lazy – I have gotten out of some of my good habits – and more importantly I stopped cooking new meals and trying new recipes. I got into a rut of eating too much protein and not enough vegetables.
Normally at this point I would have done two things – I would have given up on this blog completely and consigned it to the bin of “this is something I used to do but don’t anymore”; and I would have thrown in the proverbial towel and gone hell for leather at destroying myself and indulged in self-loathing on a grand scale. But the fact is that my mindset is different – I have preached the mantra so many times that “this is a lifestyle not a diet” that I really don’t feel guilty and so every day I haven’t banted was just another day when I made bad choices.
Today I started again. I had smoked salmon for lunch and just had a rather odd combo of Paddy’s steak gravy and avocado for dinner. I am now eating some salted almonds and might have a bit of cheese later tonight. I found a dress the other day in our bedroom in a bag – took it out and realised it was one I bought eleven years ago when I did the dreaded shakes – brown velvet – so I tried it on and do you know right now I would get away with it – but if I was careful it would look really well for the few Christmas events we attend. So that’s the plan. I found a few new recipes this week which I will try to cook at some point maybe and tonight I need to go back to not eating junk – it’s not the flavour I crave – it’s the habit. and I promise to blog at least once a week. This is a great way to keep tabs on myself. Knowing that so many people check in here means I am answerable in some way – and I’m still doing so well – I have managed to maintain for the first time ever. I have no plans to go back the wrong way up that hill again – not ever. I’m enjoying the feeling of being where I’m at too much for that to happen.
I’ll let you know how I get on!
Here’s a link to one dish I plan to try during the week for sure – right up my street and totally banting friendly!